Acceptable Use Policy
Last updated 22 October 2026
This policy is part of the Terms and Conditions. It says what is allowed here and what is not. It is short on purpose, because a rule nobody reads protects nobody.
The whole of it in one line: this service exists so that people can marry. Be honest about who you are, and treat every member and every family as you would want your own sister or brother treated.
What is required of you
- Be 18 or over. Your date of birth is required and an age under 18 is refused. Giving a false date of birth to get past that is a serious breach and will be acted on.
- Be yourself. One account, your own name, your own identity document. You may not register for somebody else, and you may not let anyone else use your account.
- Be truthful. Your introduction is read by another family making a serious decision. Your age, marital status, whether you have children, your location, your practice and your intentions must be true as you understand them.
- Be free to marry. If you are already married, you must say so and be honest about what you are seeking. A member looking for a second wife and concealing a first will be removed.
- Be seeking marriage. Not conversation, not friendship, not anything else.
- Give us a real guardian or family contact. A working email address for a real person who knows you have registered. Inventing one, or giving a second address of your own, is a serious breach: the whole safeguard rests on it.
Strictly prohibited
The following are prohibited absolutely. They are not matters for a warning. An account used for any of them is removed immediately and without refund, and reported to the police or the relevant authority whether or not anyone asks us to.
Human trafficking and sex trafficking
Human trafficking, sex trafficking, modern slavery, servitude and forced labour are prohibited, and so is any use of this service that facilitates them. That includes using an introduction to recruit, transport, harbour or transfer a person for exploitation; arranging or attempting to arrange a marriage for the purpose of exploitation, immigration status or financial gain rather than marriage; and paying for, or accepting payment for, a person or an introduction.
These are criminal offences under the Modern Slavery Act 2015. We report suspected trafficking to the police and to the Modern Slavery Helpline (08000 121 700), and we will make a National Referral Mechanism referral where appropriate. We do not require the consent of the person concerned to do so, and we do not treat it as confidential.
Child sexual abuse material (CSAM) and any sexual content involving a minor
Child sexual abuse material is prohibited absolutely, in every form, and so is any attempt to solicit, produce, request, describe, transmit or distribute it, and any sexual interest in or contact with a child.
This service is for adults aged 18 and over. There is nowhere on it to upload or send an image of any kind, so there is no means by which such material could be shared here, but the prohibition stands regardless of the route. Any such material or conduct that comes to our attention by any means is reported immediately to the Internet Watch Foundation and to the National Crime Agency's CEOP command, the account is removed, and we preserve what the authorities require. We will never require anyone's consent before reporting it.
Sexual violence and sexual content
Sexual violence of every kind is prohibited absolutely. That includes rape and sexual assault, any sexual act or contact without full and freely given consent, coercing or pressuring any person into a sexual act, threats of sexual violence, and any attempt or incitement to commit any of these. It applies to conduct on this service and to conduct towards any person a member meets through it.
Sexual content is also prohibited, whether or not it is consensual. This is a matrimonial introduction service and not an adult service. You may not send, request, solicit, describe, display or share sexual or sexually explicit content, images or language, make sexual advances or propositions, or seek any sexual contact. There is nowhere on this service to send an image, and asking another member for one is itself a removable breach.
The sharing or threatened sharing of intimate images without consent, sometimes called revenge pornography, is prohibited and is an offence under section 33 of the Criminal Justice and Courts Act 2015 and the Online Safety Act 2023. We report it to the police.
Aiding, abetting or encouraging abuse
You may not aid, abet, counsel, procure, encourage, facilitate, enable, incite, solicit, conspire in, or conceal any form of abuse, harassment, exploitation, violence, coercion or other breach of this policy, whether committed by you, by another member, or by anyone else, and whether on this service or elsewhere.
This applies in particular to acting on behalf of another person to do what they could not do themselves, introducing a member to someone you know intends to exploit or harm them, concealing what you know about another member's conduct, pressuring or assisting someone else to apply pressure, and discouraging a person from reporting, from seeking help, or from speaking to the police.
Helping someone else do these things is treated exactly as seriously as doing them. Knowing of serious harm and saying nothing is itself a breach of this policy.
Impersonation
Impersonation is prohibited. You may not pretend to be a person you are not, use another person's name, photograph, identity document or details, register or hold an account in anyone else's name, let another person use your account, create an account about or on behalf of someone who has not freely asked you to, or falsely present yourself as acting for The Village Aunty, a matchmaker, a scholar, or any other organisation.
Every member must pass identity verification against a genuine identity document with a matching live photograph before they can be introduced to anyone.
Illegal acts
You may not use this service to commit, attempt, arrange, assist or conceal any criminal offence under the law of England and Wales, or to further any unlawful purpose. Without limiting that, the following are expressly prohibited: fraud of any kind, including asking a member or their family for money, a gift, a loan, an investment or help with a visa; forced marriage, which is an offence under section 121 of the Anti-social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act 2014; bigamy; immigration offences and sham marriage; blackmail, extortion and threats; money laundering or the transfer of criminal property; harassment and stalking; the sharing of intimate images without consent; and unauthorised access to computer systems.
What is not allowed
Dishonesty
- Pretending to be someone else, using another person's photograph, name or documents.
- Concealing an existing marriage, a divorce that is not final, or children.
- Attempting to verify an account in a name that is not yours.
Harm to members and their families
- Harassment of any kind, including continuing to contact a person or family after they have declined.
- Sexual content, sexual advances, or soliciting intimate images. There is nowhere on this service to send one, and asking for one is itself a removable breach.
- Threats, intimidation, abuse, or language intended to humiliate.
- Abuse or contempt on the basis of ethnicity, nationality, caste, biraderi, language, disability, convert status, skin colour, or madhhab. You are free to have preferences and to state them on the form; you are not free to express contempt for anybody.
- Approaching a member outside this service, or anyone in their family, using information you were given through a proposal.
Coercion, and marriage that is not freely chosen
This is the most serious section on this page, and the one we will act on fastest.
- Every marriage arranged through this service must be freely consented to by both the man and the woman. An arranged marriage is one both parties choose. A forced marriage is one they do not, and in this country it is a criminal offence under section 121 of the Anti-social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act 2014, carrying up to seven years' imprisonment.
- You may not register, or write an introduction, on behalf of a person who has not freely asked you to, including your own son or daughter. The account must be theirs and the answers must be theirs.
- You may not pressure, threaten, shame, emotionally blackmail, financially coerce, or otherwise force any person into accepting a proposal, meeting, or marrying. That applies to a member, to a member's family, and to your own family.
- You may not use a member's refusal against them, or involve us in doing so.
- Declining is absolute. No means no, it needs no reason, and nobody may override it: not a member, not a parent, not a wali, and not us.
If you are being pressured into a marriage, or you are worried about someone who is, the Forced Marriage Unit will help, confidentially, whether or not you want anyone told: 020 7008 0151. In an emergency call 999. You can also tell us, and we will act on our side. But please use them too, because they can do things we cannot.
Nobody who contacts us about this will have their account closed for it, and we will not tell your family that you did.
Using the service for something it is not
- Fraud of any kind, and in particular asking a member or their family for money, a gift, a loan, an investment, or help with a visa or immigration matter. This is the most common way people are hurt on services like this one. Report it immediately.
- Using a proposal to arrange a marriage of convenience, or any arrangement whose purpose is immigration status rather than marriage.
- Advertising, recruiting, promoting a business, or collecting members' details for any purpose of your own.
- Paying someone, or being paid, for an introduction.
Misuse of what you are shown
- Copying, screenshotting, saving, forwarding, publishing or posting another member's introduction, answers, contact details or photograph. What you receive in a proposal is for you and your guardian, for the purpose of making a decision. Nothing else.
- Showing a photograph exchanged with you to anybody beyond those deciding with you.
- Scraping, automating, or attempting to extract the register.
Attacks on the service
- Attempting to gain access to another member's account, to the matchmaker's desk, or to any part of the system you have not been given.
- Probing for or exploiting a vulnerability. If you find one, tell us at hello@thevillageaunty.co.uk, with SECURITY at the start of the subject line, and we will thank you properly. Do not test it against real members' data.
Things that are allowed, and sometimes assumed not to be
- Declining anybody, for any reason, without explaining. You never owe a reason.
- Stating preferences on practice, sect, language, ethnicity, divorce, children, smoking, relocation and the rest. That is what the form is for.
- Taking your time. There is no penalty for a slow answer.
- Involving whoever you wish in the decision, beyond the guardian we must write to.
- Closing your account at any moment, without telling us why.
How we enforce this
We read every report. A matchmaker decides, and a person decides, not a machine.
| A warning | For a first breach that caused no harm. We write to you and say what must change. |
|---|---|
| Suspension | While we look into a report. You are signed out and cannot sign in, and any proposal waiting on you is withdrawn. Nothing you have written is deleted, and suspension can be lifted. |
| Removal | For a serious breach, or a repeated one. Your account is closed and your introduction erased. For a serious breach the fee is not refunded. |
| Referral | Where someone may be in danger, or a crime may have been committed, we will pass what we hold to the police or to a safeguarding authority. See the law-enforcement page. |
We will tell you what we have decided and why, and you may reply. If you believe we have got it wrong, say so and a different person will look at it again.
One thing you should know before you report, and before you are reported. When an account is removed for a safeguarding reason, we keep a minimal record of three things: that a removal happened, the reason, and a one-way fingerprint of the email address. We keep it even after everything else about that person is erased. Without it, a removed member could rejoin and nothing would connect them to what they did. It means that if the same address registers again, the matchmaker reviewing them sees the history. It is kept under Article 17(3) of the UK GDPR and it is the one thing erasure does not take with it.
If an account has been made about you
If you believe someone has created an account here about you, or in your name, tell us and we will act on it.
You do not have to prove that you control the email address it was registered with, and you do not need an account of your own to ask. We know that the person this happens to is often precisely the person who does not have that inbox, and we will not use it as a reason to do nothing.
What we will do. We suspend the account while we look into it, which stops any proposal immediately. We will ask you for enough to satisfy ourselves that the account is about you. This is to protect members from someone trying to have a genuine account closed, not an obstacle to put in your way, and we will keep it to the minimum. If we are satisfied, the account is closed and the record erased.
We will not tell whoever registered it that you contacted us. If you tell us you are at risk from that person, we will treat it as urgent and we will not communicate with them in a way that identifies you.
Write to hello@thevillageaunty.co.uk. If a member of your family registered you and you are being pressured into a marriage, please also call the Forced Marriage Unit on 020 7008 0151, who can help in ways we cannot.
Reporting someone
Email hello@thevillageaunty.co.uk. Tell us what happened and when, and include anything you still have.
If you think someone is in immediate danger, call 999 first. We are a small service and we are not an emergency service. Report it to us as well, and we will act on our side.
If you believe money has been taken from you, report it to Action Fraud on 0300 123 2040 or at actionfraud.police.uk, and tell us.
Reporting in good faith will never count against you, even if we conclude there was no breach. Reporting someone falsely, to have them removed, is itself a breach of this policy.